"FELLOW Zimbabweans, our nation does not deserve this at all, let alone experiencing such a bloody incident at the beginning of the year,” our Owner, Cde Trabablas Dzokerai Mabhunu said in a seemingly solemn statement in the aftermath of the bus accident that claimed 25 lives last week.
“We must do all that is possible to curb this unjustified loss of life,” he added.
Families of the victims of the August 2, 2018 massacres — and even the relatives of those ‘cockroaches’ that the Gukurahundi DDT eradicated — certainly need to hear this!
That the nation no longer deserves these senseless deaths, unlike before.
Meanwhile, Muckraker is reliably told that some of the 18 air ambulances that we acquired from our Russian friends saved the day.
The helicopters airlifted the injured to various state-of-the-art hospitals across the country — thanks to the Second Republic — where medical consumables such as cardboard boxes and some such are now in abundant supply, proof enough that the Ownership no longer accepts “unjustified loss of life”.
What more can the people ask for?
Muck thinks even 2033 is not good enough… just make the damn thing open-ended!
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The Museveni syndrome
This week the Owner summonsed editors from selected media houses in the country to State House tell them that, as a constitutionalist, he will be stepping down at the end of his term.
Whatever that ambiguous statement means is open to all manners of interpretations. Muck has been a Zimbo long enough!
At the same time, losers such as Ziyambi Ziyambi are busy on the ground working on the extension of that term by another five years… being a constitutionalist that he is, Owner will claim to still be within his term limits even after going those extra years dexterously appended to the current term.
Asked about those in his party, who are pushing this term extension agenda, he said it was within their democratic right to do so — Job Sikhala, Jameson Timba, Blessed Geza and some such should hear this — insisting that in the event that the extensions sails through and he is “persuaded” to continue, he would “persuade those persuaders not to persuade me”.
His denials do not sound new or credible. We are reminded of the 2011 fulsome interview that he granted to a British newspaper, The Sunday Telegraph in which he stridently denied fondling any presidential ambitions, only for him to stage a coup six years later.
His denials are also reminiscent of many similar claims by Ugandan dictator Yoweri Museveni, who has repeatedly denied the very things that he was planning to do.
Museveni even announced that he would be leaving in 2006, but went on to extend his stay saying he wanted to wipe off poverty in Uganda by 2017… we are now in 2025.
Next year, he would have clocked 40 years in power and Uganda is one of the poorest countries in Africa and the whole world.
Exceptional indeed
Cde Sir Wicked, the celebrated thief that has been initiating most celebrities and other Zimbos of influence into Satanism over the past two years, this week joined the 2030 campaign.
Wicked says moves by Donald Trump to seek a third term as United States president justifies similar moves in Zimbabwe. He called Owners’ (mis)leadership “truly exceptional” that therefore should not be cut short by the inconveniences of constitutional term limits.
We cannot agree more with the convicted thief that has been allowed to continue stealing uninterrupted.
It surely takes an exceptional leadership to hobnob with (fellow) criminals as openly as we see in this sorry apology of a country on a daily basis.
Expectant Muck
Meanwhile, we expect the editors who were invited to State House
this week to be going on the second leg of the invitation — Precabe Farm – so that they can help tell the country’s true success story — while Cde Sir Wicked considers the vehicle class that befits them!
Also emerging on the scene is Cde Paul Tungwarara, the Presidential Investment Advisor, who is now complementing Cde Wicked’s efforts by taking care of war veterans and journalists on behalf of Owner.
Muck is rubbing his palms in gleeful anticipation… a borehole, a (bugged) phone and some cash would certainly energise this patriot to sing louder for Owner.
Muck was thoroughly impressed with the sterling efforts that editors at the State media were making in justifying the use of cardboard boxes as plasters.
We hope and pray that Sir Wicked notices their efforts and duly refer them to Victor!
If a whole government can mobilise all resources at its disposal to justify such nonsense instead of doing something about it, now that the Americans and their European cousins are withdrawing the aid that has sustained our health services, one can only shudder to imagine how many people are going to be lost to avoidable deaths in the coming years, the deaths being justified in the very same way that this nonsense is being justified.
Police extortion fund
Zimbabwe being the crime scene that it always has been, the same things appear to change, the more they remain the same… if not actually change for the worse. In the run up to the coup of November 2017, extortion of motorists by the police was official policy with roadblocks mounted within very short distances of each other — just being a motorist was a crime on its own.
And the coup plotters cleared the roadblocks and citizens started moving freely.
But as the regime has looted everything there was to loot, it has since reached rock bottom, causing it to remember the lucrative option of police checkpoints and bringing them back — this time with vengeance!
Instead of just policing, the goons are now being deployed to raise funds for the re-introduced Police Retention Fund … in other words, policing is now commercialised again.
With extortion now being an official fundraising initiative, one does not need to commit any crime to be arrested, but they just have to look like they have some money… and in Zimbabwe driving a car is certainly one of those necessary looks!
This is over and above the 51 taxes that are crafted to milk the citizens dry.
So Zimbos should gird themselves for another rough ride, until possibly the next coup that would briefly set them free again.
Still on this lucrative topic of extortion, in the aftermath of the Beitbridge bus and truck crash, Transport minister Felix Mhona told us that he was seriously considering withdrawing the operator’s permit of the bus firm.
Those such as Muck, who have been Zimbos for long enough to know what this means — it is a lucrative extortion scam that every successive Transport minister has benefited from since 1980, so it certainly would be so unfair to deny Mhona some of the perks of his important job!
