I FACILITATED a training session with the Institute of Global Leadership and Administration on the Psychology of Driver Management.
One of the key topics we explored was emotional intelligence — a critical skill for effective leadership and personal growth. During the session, I asked participants to identify five emotions they were sitting with at that moment.
What unfolded was both revealing and deeply concerning: The men in the room could not identify a single emotion. This moment reminded me of a recent conversation with an acquaintance who bluntly stated: “Men have no time for emotions; we just take care of families”.
This statement, and the silence of the men in the training room, speaks volumes about the complexities of human emotion, particularly in contexts where societal norms and systemic hardships have conditioned people to suppress their feelings.
It also raises important questions about the emotional toll of living in environments such as Zimbabwe, where economic instability, political repression, and social fragmentation have created a culture of emotional survival.
The inability of the men in the training session to articulate their emotions is not an isolated incident. It is a reflection of deeply-ingrained societal norms that equate emotional expression with weakness, particularly for men.
From a young age, boys are often taught to “toughen up”, to hide their vulnerabilities, and to prioritise providing for their families over addressing their emotional needs.
This conditioning creates a culture of emotional silence, where men are expected to endure hardships without complaint, often at the expense of their mental health.
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The acquaintance, who told me that men “have no time for emotions”, embodies this mindset.
His statement reflects a survival mechanism — a way of coping with the overwhelming pressures of life in a country such as Zimbabwe, where economic hardships and political instability have left many struggling to make ends meet.
However, this suppression of emotion comes at a cost. It creates a cycle of emotional disconnection, where individuals are unable to fully process their experiences, leading to unresolved trauma, strained relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.
This emotional silence is not limited to those who are free. It extends to individuals such as Blessed Mhlanga, a Zimbabwean journalist incarcerated for his interview with a war veteran who is outspoken and is clear about his criticism of the country’s leadership.
Mhlanga’s situation is a stark reminder of the emotional toll of living under repressive regimes. While I cannot speak directly to his feelings, it is not difficult to imagine the range of emotions he must be experiencing: anger at the injustice of his imprisonment, fear for his safety, loneliness from being separated from his loved ones, and perhaps even a sense of hopelessness as he faces an uncertain future.
Yet, Mhlanga’s story is also one of resilience. Despite the emotional and physical hardships of incarceration, he continues to inspire others through his unwavering commitment to justice.
His ability to maintain hope and purpose in the face of adversity is a testament to the strength of the human spirit. It also highlights the importance of emotional resilience — the capacity to navigate difficult emotions and find meaning in challenging circumstances.
Zimbabwe’s socio-political and economic landscape has created an environment where emotional survival often takes precedence over emotional expression.
Decades of economic instability, political repression, and social fragmentation have left many Zimbabweans emotionally drained. The constant struggle to provide for basic needs — food, shelter, healthcare — has left little room for empathy, sympathy, or kindness.
In such an environment, emotions become a luxury. People are forced to prioritise survival over connection, often leading to a culture of emotional detachment.
This detachment is evident in the way Zimbabweans have learned to navigate their daily lives — focusing on immediate needs while suppressing the pain, fear, and frustration that come with living in a country where opportunities are scarce and hope is often in short supply.
This emotional sealing-off is not a reflection of indifference but rather a coping mechanism. It is a way of protecting oneself from the overwhelming weight of collective suffering.
However, this survival strategy comes at a cost. It creates a society where individuals are disconnected from their own emotions and from each other, making it difficult to build the kind of solidarity needed to drive meaningful change.
The challenges we face in Zimbabwe — and in many other parts of the world — are immense. However, the solution lies not in further suppressing our emotions but in reclaiming our emotional humanity.
This begins with acknowledging the importance of emotional intelligence and creating spaces where individuals feel safe to express their feelings without fear of judgment or ridicule.
For men, this means challenging the societal norms that equate emotional expression with weakness. It means recognising that taking care of families is not just about providing materially, but also about being emotionally present and supportive.
For women, it means continuing to advocate for spaces where their emotions are valued and respected. And for society as a whole, it means fostering a culture of empathy, kindness, and solidarity — one where emotional expression is seen as a strength rather than a liability.
The story of the men in the training room, the acquaintance who dismissed emotions, and Mhlanga’s resilience in the face of incarceration all point to the complexities of human emotion.
They remind us that emotions are not a sign of weakness, but a fundamental part of what makes us human. In Zimbabwe, where hardships have conditioned many to seal off their emotions, the path forward lies in reclaiming our emotional humanity.
It lies in creating spaces where individuals feel safe to express their feelings, where empathy and kindness are valued, and where emotional resilience is seen as a source of strength.
As we navigate the challenges of our time, let us remember that emotions are not a luxury — they are a necessity. They are the foundation of our connections with others, the source of our resilience, and the key to building a more compassionate and just society.
Let us strive to create a world where everyone, regardless of gender or circumstance, feels empowered to embrace their emotions and use them as a force for positive change. Until then, let us keep spreading positivity (#spreadpositivity).
We were here, becoming better, making our mark, and leaving our footprint as we make the world a better place!
- Chirenje writes in her capacity as a citizen of Zimbabwe. Follow her on social media for more Lifezone with Grace conversations on Twitter: @graceruvimbo; Facebook: Grace Ruvimbo Chirenje; Instagram: @graceruvimbo; WhatsApp:+263772719650.
