MUCKRAKER also came across that false story about how a survey reportedly conducted by the goons in the Central Intelligence Organisation (CIO) found that 82% of respondents rejected the proposal to extend Trabablas’ term of slavery.
Reports say it was on the basis of this survey, which was commissioned to gauge the poor citizen’s level of unhappiness, that resulted in the decision to avoid any referendums at all costs in the ongoing mischief to desecrate the Constitution.
Rigging is now everywhere, we can tell you. The margin of 82% is actually a result of massive rigging because the extent to which Zimbos actually sympathise with Trabablas, their slave, is actually 98,4%, according to Muck’s own survey.
It means that a higher number of Zimbos would want this slave of theirs, who has served them so faithfully since the 1960s, to finally be set free. But there are those in The Party, who are so cruel that they do not want him to be a free man even for just a nano-second of his life. How cruel!
Appointments, dismay
The Owner of the country this week decided to dismiss Apollonia Munzverengwi from that post that does not exist in the Constitution — that of State minister for Mashonaland East Provincial Affairs and Devolution — and replaced her with Itayi Ndudzo.
It was coming and we know that more is coming since recently Trabablas expressed concerns over the performance of some of the people in these sinecures — doesn’t a leopard accuse its cubs of smelling like goats when it starts plotting to eat them?
Those, who claim to be in the know, say that both Munzverengwi and Ndudzo are relatives of that chap, who is promising himself Owner’s job, which is an indication of how rotten this country is.
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When you hear people talking about corruption, one would be forgiven to assume that those complaining are themselves clean, yet they would just be unhappy that there is not enough room for all their relatives, friends and concubines in these government posts.
Who doesn’t know that this has nothing at all to do with performance? Doesn’t a fish rot from the head? So anything to do with performance would certainly start with Owner himself — is there any worse non-performer than him?
Meanwhile, we loved a story from Buhera where Cde Lieutenant Colonel Honest Mangezi, who is the Battalion Commander at 3.2 Infantry Battalion, was last week installed as Headman Tsamwayi.
He will have 27 villages under Chief Nyashanu’s area under his military command. Those who know this country well, know.
Punching above size
Now we understand why the man at Harare’s Town House that they call “Doink” was so eager to go through the paces at the School of Corruption.
In the very short time since he graduated from the school with flying colours, the brother is proving that he can punch way above his physical size as far as corruption is concerned.
So Cde Doink decided to hurriedly erect an illegal structure in Belvedere eyeing Harare Institute of Technology (HIT) students? Noticing that there were others in the same neighbourhood, who had the same business idea, he ordered the demolition of their houses on the grounds that they were illegal structures.
It is called strategically positioning one’s self. We should give it to our brother!
Sadly, as the scandal is unfolding daily at the ongoing retired High Court judge Justice Maphios Cheda commission, he is now trying to make us understand that it can be okay to build an illegal structure anywhere in Harare — depending on who you are — making his case an exception.
As a result, his massive illegal structure in Belvedere should be left alone, so Cde Doink reasons … or thinks he is reasoning!
We think, in the interest of justice, the owners of the razed down illegal structures need to be asked for their opinion on this matter. Law is law, by the way, isn’t it?
Understandable anger
We were not amused by reports that Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe (RBZ) governor Cde John Mushayavanhu is fuming and stewing that Zimbos are increasingly resorting to mattress banking.
His anger is both perfectly understandable and acceptable. It is very normal for thieves to be unhappy when people make commonsensical decisions to keep their valuables out of the reach of the thieves.
Having lost their money — even whole life savings in some cases — before, not once, but twice, Zimbos certainly learnt it the hard way and only a fool would want it to happen to them the third time.
The same RBZ is threatening to unleash new “quality” notes of the world’s strongest currency, the ZiG. We are not sure if the World Bank is involved (again!) this time around, but from the little that Muck knows about money, it is the value, not the quality of paper, that makes any currency acceptable to users.
It is the quality that makes it a dependable store of value, something that has always eluded the local currency for more than two decades now.
We hope this announcement has nothing to do with fears of what the man, who is back in the Oval Office might decide to do about his greenback.
Enter Maji Marefu!
Hunger is real and people out there are all too happy to sing any song in the hope of getting even the crumbs that fall from the table of the Owners of the country.
“Our research and findings are that big retail shops were abating the smuggling of commodities, taking advantage of our porous border posts and a lax customs duty system,” wrote Cde Tapiwa Mashakada, remember him?
His “our” in this case was referring to himself and his one-man show, the Maji-Marefu Institute of Economic Governance.
“Retail shops used to get their supplies from “runners”, or commodity brokers, who imported the goods illegally via smuggling.
“The dealers avoided customs duty by smuggling goods into Zimbabwe for onward distribution to retail shops,” Mashakada cheered the madness.
He was waffling when indications on the ground were that 60% of retail shelves were empty … and emptying, while (No) Finance minister, Mthuli Ncube, was also blaming the retailers for only making rational decisions in the face of crazy macro-economic policies. Another round of 2008 is beckoning!
Exorcise, exorcise please!
Muck will not entirely disbelieve the story that did the rounds in the past week — about a warehouse exorcising exercise that is said to have taken place in Beitbridge.
Something similar happened recently at a school in Masvingo, where some witch-doctors and self-styled prophets took turns to perform similar rituals.
Who should blame them? Muck understands that similar rituals take place not just at the State House, but in many government offices almost on a daily basis.
Actually, many Zimbos think the country as a whole needs thorough exorcising because it appears to be cursed by the devil himself!
Reason to stay put!
The rate at which crimes committed by “rogue” war veteran, Blessed Geza — who is making noises about the 2030 project — are snowballing could be the reason why some people would resist letting power get out of their hands.
Imagine what could happen in the unlikely event that Cde Trabablas is out of power just for one day! So sometimes it is much better to stay put at all cost — didn’t Rachel in the Bible not do so?
