IN the aftermath of America’s sudden withdrawal of funding of global aid programmes, some Zimbos came up with a perfect analogy to explain the development away.
The conversation goes like this: “What do you do if your small house or side chick starts dating other guys when you are doing everything for her — from paying for her food, rent, hairdo to even school fees for her own children?”
“It’s simple! I stop the payments; I withdraw my funds and channel them to something more satisfying.”
“You are right. That’s what Trump has just done. He now wants to assist American allies, not those who are receiving American aid yet going to bed with Russia, China and (the rest of) BRICS (member states)!
Muckraker can’t find any better way to explain the earth-shuttering decision by United States President Donald Trump (pictured) to suspend aid to many ungrateful countries in the world.
While Muck is reliably informed that Zanu PF legal minds, the likes of Martin Dinha, Paul Mangwana and Patrick Chinamasa, are weighing the possibility of suing Trump for the mischief, some feel this development could actually be a blessing in disguise for The Party.
It would present an opportunity for increasingly impoverished Zimbos to be more loyal to the Ownership since most of them would then be relying solely on The Party for survival.
Imagine The Party — through its generous hand, Cde Chivharo — ordering Zimbos to queue up for food, ARVs and everything else, in addition to the cars! Isn’t a hungry and desperate man very easy to control? So Trump and his imperialist aid can go to hell!
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History on repeat
Whoever said that there is really nothing new under this sun could not have been very wrong after all.
As Zimbos are clamouring that their Owner comes out of his shell to protest against threats to his retirement dream, Muck comes across something similar.
Towards the end of Olusegun Obasanjo’s second term as Nigerian president in 2007, he was embroiled in controversy regarding his “Third Term Agenda”, a plan to modify the constitution so he could serve a third, four-year term as president.
This led to a political media uproar in Nigeria and the bill was eventually not ratified by the country’s National Assembly. Consequently, Obasanjo stepped down after the April 2007 election.
Later, in an exclusive interview granted to Channels Television, Obasanjo was able to deny any involvement in the Third Term Agenda.
He said it was the National Assembly that had included tenure elongation amongst the other proposed constitutional amendments.
Obasanjo stated: “I never toyed with the idea of a third term”.
It sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
As Owner watches the noise around his 2030 project, which has just been boosted by a similar project in the US, he should be wondering if this strategy will work, now that his continued silence is not having the real intended effects, especially with the likes of Blessed Geza appearing all over the show.
These rude youths
We fail to understand the turn away of youths of today from the values of ubuntu. Recently, Muck overheard one of these youths yawning aloud, “Rega madhara anetsa aya apere!” (Let this generation of troublesome elders die).
Whatever he was saying this apropos of, the timing was just not the best as that was around the time when all important people in this country were gathered at the hill for the “historic” burial of three gallant heroes while news of the death of Cde Justin Mupamhanga was also filtering through.
Some things are best left in the mind, never to be verbalised … that is politeness!
Meanwhile, our ZBC was full of praise for the late Zanu PF hero, Cde Mupamhanga.
“His tireless efforts in national development, particularly in the restructuring of the energy sector and the command agriculture programme, will be remembered for generations to come”, the propaganda channel said.
Zimbos will indeed remember Cde Mupamhanga for a long time … in hunger and in darkness, thanks to his hard work!
Also, from our ZBC, we now know that Zimbabwe sold over four million tonnes of minerals, excluding gold and silver, last year. Good, very good! This should mean the country is ready to remove itself from the shameful queue for handouts from American imperialists!
Waffling
At the burial of Mupamhanga, some of these youths mischievously cheered acting Owner, Cde Constantino Chiwenga, on and he told them what they wanted to hear … that he is upset about the corruption that is flourishing in the country.
He described the corrupt as “zvigananda”, a highly disparaging term that was used to refer to those with petite bourgeoise inclinations during the so-called liberation war — when the masses were being lied to that the country was going to take a socialist direction.
His show of dislike for these “zvigananda” is not very much different from someone’s claim to be a constitutionalist! What we know is that Chiwenga lives with some of these “zvigananda” under his roof. Not long ago, the courts were hearing of a certain soldier, who had been duped of nearly US$1 million … just like that … a mere soldier for that matter!
We won’t mention the jaw-dropping amounts regularly flaunted by the general’s many ex-wives!
Meanwhile, we hear that there is a new outfit in the country, “zvigandanda4ED”!
Not again
At the risk of being accused of suffering from the pull-him-down (PHD) syndrome, Muck just hopes and prays that the “inventions” by one Cde Maxwell Sangulani Chikumbutso are real, otherwise we are not available for the second round of Chinhoyi diesel moments.
The “inventions” — which dragged Cde Trabablas all the way from his Precabe nirvana to be the chief witness — are being questioned by a lot of people, amid fears that we could be in for yet another egg in the face.
We are so excited that we have set February 10 as the date on which Cde Chikumbutso’s star “invention” — a car called Saith that purportedly uses radio waves for power — will be launched.
While this could be another cause for our hard-working Owner to stay on, on and on, what Muck can say for now is that in the case of the diesel-from-the-rocks scam, “Sekuru” Nomatter Rotina Mavhunga — the Grade Two drop-out, who took the whole Cabinet on the garden path — did not go scot-free.
Muck is made to understand that the name Sangulani Chikumbutso has appeared in court papers in the past — hopefully by coincidence — linked to the grave crime of robbery, so in the (unlikely) event that these “inventions” turn out to be what most of us fear, the death penalty might have to be temporarily recalled because just a simple jail term won’t be enough to do the job!
Too close to home
After Zimra (Zimbabwe Revenue Authority) continued to be relentless in its war on smuggling, Zanu PF Women’s League chairperson Marble Chinomona summoned its mandarins to Shake Shake Building … and all the league’s affiliates were invited to support her.
The effects of these no-nonsense raids are certainly being felt … and much closer to home. Now you can tell who is doing most of the smuggling … they are not called vene (owners) for nothing, are they?
