THE Zany party’s sesquipedalian loudmouth has been at it this past week, stirring up the nests of several hornets to endear himself to his master.
The generari, who deputises our owner, Chris Mutsvangwa told us, is not certain to be elevated to take over the lease agreement as the top dog in the country. The general, we were told, has to be chosen through a democratic process!
This is because, as anyone, who follows our not-so-boring politics would know, our owner has decreed that as a constitutionalist, he will follow the rules of our land and actually give up his lease and the number one denizen of the country!
That in itself is a rarity because Zany politics demand that you not only overstay your unwelcome, but cause as much chagrin as possible to your subjects. Ibe does not quit, because once you get off that beast’s back, it is more likely to devour you than help you on your way to a happy retirement.
As those, who have had the guts to quit, have always had to crawl back because they soon found out that it’s cold out there and that they would be better off nursing at the beast than facing its ravenous ire.
Even our previous owner understood that fact which was ironic considering he was the lead architect of the culture that kept party cadres tied for fear of losing the little they had managed to squirrel away for a rainy day.
He only left the cozy State House for his Blue Roof Mansion after losing the Game of Thrones to his erstwhile deputy and his army chiefs.
The wily old political chess master finally lost the plot and died a bitter man in Singapore, two years later.
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So, Muck thinks the idea that our owner will voluntarily step away in 2028 because of something as flimsy as a constitution is fanciful. The risk is just too great. He is too invested in this land to just give it away because of some fine print.
Consider the man’s history, which suggests that he has been working towards 2017 for a very long time. Remember Dinyane in 2004, more famously known as the Tsholotsho Declaration that never was, 13 years before he eventually took as the number one citizen?
Yes, he has walked back on his ‘2030 I will still be in charge’ statement in recent times by insisting that “there is not an iota of evidence where Zanu PF or I, as President, has ever expressed the violation of our Constitution. We in Zanu PF are very democratic and we obey the Constitution”.
Early this month, our owner reiterated that he needs “to rest”, but has not stopped his underlings in the ruining Zany party from publicly declaring that he must overstay his welcome by going for a currently unconstitutional third term.
Even if the Zany MPs were corralled into voting to give him a third term, the constitution says the amendment can only benefit his successor.
The risk for going for such an amendment the man who takes over is the one who gets to enjoy the benefits.
Muck is willing to bet all the tea in China that we are yet to realise the full potential of having self-appointed secretary of the Chava Chinhu Chedu (CCC) party in this equation because me thinks he was about more than just getting rid of the pesky Nero.
The year 2008 already provided a template, so why not cobble another government of national unity? After all, the so-called opposition members in our parliament serve at the pleasure of Sengezo Tshabangu.
Letting someone else take over the reins of the Zany party in 2027 is too fraught with danger.
Muck only has to look at what our neighbours in Mzansi did, twice each time the ANC changed their leaders. Zimbabwe is not ready for that kind of politics, so it remains to be seen if our owner will give up the top party job. After all, the Zany party practises what its leaders have called ‘guided democracy’, a fancy way of saying the party members will do as ordered by their leaders.
So, Muck thinks the attacks on the generari are only getting started.
And the sesquipedalian has been keen to put the former army in his place.
“Zanu PF is not a church where people can be anointed. Don't try to foist the president upon yourselves. The president is not the Pope of the (Roman) Catholic Church or the Archbishop of Canterbury, who anoints priests,” Mutsvangwa said.
“Everyone who goes into politics and has an ambition to be a leader must play by the rules, especially of a revolutionary democratic party.”
Responding to an alleged 2017 coup power deal between the two top party officials, he said: “Even if the president had said there is a secret agreement, we would have censored him. That’s why he was very clear on his tenure. He cleansed himself. Why, when he has done his job very well as a democrat, would he choose to exit by donating the seat to someone else?”
The last part says it all!
Why is Mutsvangwa singing so much in praise of the man who early this year fired him from being a minister and relegated his wife to some obscure ministry?
Is it to stay relevant or to keep his son away from being a guest of the State in one of our famed prisons?
He is not the only one.
Early this year, the man who wrote a very flattering biography about our owner, Eddie Cross, had this to say about the generari: “Chiwenga will not take over from Emmerson, aiwa (no), not even for five minutes.
Chiwenga is part of the past and he has gone as far as he can go. He will retire along with Emmerson. Emmerson keeps him there because he needs the constituency.”
Because the man allegedly spends so much time with our owner, Muck must assume that his utterances are based on their now not-so-private conversations.
It is game on in the Zany party!
